It’s not a weight disorder, it’s an eating disorder. You don’t have to be underweight to be ‘sick enough’.

"Among girls whose parents never commented on their weight, 4.2% reported use of any extreme weight control behaviors, while 23.2% of girls whose parents frequently commented on their weight reported use of any of these behaviors. Mothers’ more frequent talk about their own weight, shape, or size was associated with lower self-worth and higher depressive symptomology among girls."

Mother-reported parental weight talk and adolescent girls’ emotional health, weight control attempts, and disordered eating behaviors

This is open access. If you click on the link you can read the whole paper (click to read the PDF at the bottom of the page)

Must remember….

I think I need to be more aware of my feelings. I know that sounds dumb. But I’m constantly distracting myself or doing something. Never just asking myself, how do I feel. I think that is a big thing about ED. Keeps me distracted and busy and I never have to face how I feel. Something to work on.

I know I’ve been whining a lot here recently. I’ve been feeling completely beaten down by ed and it’s gotten really bad, I’ve completely lost control. I think it’s time to go to the doctor. I’m really struggling.

I just feel so incredibly gross, on so many levels. I’m not just being superficial here.

I’m a mum now, I’m supposed to have it together! I will sort it out. Sorry for moaning!

So, last week was terrible healthwise.  Not the worst week, by far, so there is a positive!  

TW: ED

I was really bad last week, I b/ped a few times, and it all came out of the blue.  Well, I think it was my trip to the dentist that triggered it.  After 13 years of being bulimic, my teeth have obviously suffered.  I had to go to the dentist and have a root canal, and I always get very embarrassed by my teeth.  

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Trying to disengage self loathing drive

The controls are out, the drive is malfunctioning. Trying to cut power. Standby.