I have been away a long time, so many things have happened. I don’t really know where to start catching up, so I won’t. Needless to say I am still a massive bulimic and might aswell kill myself. Whatever I do, where ever I am, it doesn’t matter, bulimia always wins, it wins against everybody and everything. I am also at my high weight and it makes me sick, I hate everything about my body, I barely look in the mirror and every time I think about it, it just makes me want to die. I try and eat less, but I can’t, I seem to be in a constant state of binging. To be honest, my lifestyle isn’t great, I work too much and let myself get stressed out by work. I don’t eat well, I probably drink too much and I have stopped taking my meds. I am generally a disaster zone. I know I can change this, I just don’t know how. Sometimes I will tell myself I won’t binge that day, try eating healthy meals, but before I know it there is a slice of pizza or some chips in my hand. No hope. I wish I could hide away and hibernate till bulimia relinquishes control over me, but I know I have to fight it, and I don’t have the power to right now. Ok, pathetic depressing post over, sorry guys.