"Among girls whose parents never commented on their weight, 4.2% reported use of any extreme weight control behaviors, while 23.2% of girls whose parents frequently commented on their weight reported use of any of these behaviors. Mothers’ more frequent talk about their own weight, shape, or size was associated with lower self-worth and higher depressive symptomology among girls."

Mother-reported parental weight talk and adolescent girls’ emotional health, weight control attempts, and disordered eating behaviors

This is open access. If you click on the link you can read the whole paper (click to read the PDF at the bottom of the page)

Must remember….

I think I need to be more aware of my feelings. I know that sounds dumb. But I’m constantly distracting myself or doing something. Never just asking myself, how do I feel. I think that is a big thing about ED. Keeps me distracted and busy and I never have to face how I feel. Something to work on.

I know I’ve been whining a lot here recently. I’ve been feeling completely beaten down by ed and it’s gotten really bad, I’ve completely lost control. I think it’s time to go to the doctor. I’m really struggling.

I just feel so incredibly gross, on so many levels. I’m not just being superficial here.

I’m a mum now, I’m supposed to have it together! I will sort it out. Sorry for moaning!

So, last week was terrible healthwise.  Not the worst week, by far, so there is a positive!  


I was really bad last week, I b/ped a few times, and it all came out of the blue.  Well, I think it was my trip to the dentist that triggered it.  After 13 years of being bulimic, my teeth have obviously suffered.  I had to go to the dentist and have a root canal, and I always get very embarrassed by my teeth.  

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Trying to disengage self loathing drive

The controls are out, the drive is malfunctioning. Trying to cut power. Standby.

I know it’s a bit sad but I joined slimming world on Monday. I’m really trying to get some kind of handle on my eating. So far so good. :) 5 days b/p free and I already feel much better, sleeping much more (not b/ping at night when baby is sleeping), and getting many more nutrients. Breastfeeding on such a dreadful lifestyle was literally taking it out of me. I felt awful. I’ve been following the green plan, obviously, not eating any meat and so far I’m loving it. I’m eating really well, getting lots of healthy stuff. I also joined the gym a few weeks ago, but haven’t been as often as I would like, it’s hard with the baby. I hope I lose some weight, I hate my body now. I know I had a baby, but it’s been 14 and half weeks and my weight has been yoyoing horribly for a couple of months now. Restricting, b/ping, low carbing (so hard with no meat) has done me no favours. I know this will take a while, but I’m glad I’m doing something for myself. :) I hope I can finally succeed.

14 weeks!! And the sweet sound of laughter :)

Where has time gone?!  I remember being 14 weeks pregnant, it was just after my sisters wedding.  Time has just flown.  
At the moment, Ophelia is on her playmat, having naked nappy free time.  She is rolling off all the prefolds I have put down for her incase of an accident!!  She is so hilarious!  It’s like she just wants to be in the ‘danger zone’!  Hehehehe!  
A new nappy arrived today, our first pocket nappy :)  It’s so cute, has pandas on it!  I am going to stuff them with the prefolds.  See how that goes, I want to stop using the disposables when we go out.  The biodegradable ones I use are quite expensive, and it seems silly to use them, when we cloth bum at home.  
She has started laughing too, it’s the best thing I ever heard!  And she is always ‘talking’ now.  So loud!!  I am loving her so much.  Life is pretty much perfect, beautiful weather, tea, The Cure and the most perfect child in the known universe.  I just have to defeat ED.  
ED is so bad right now, it’s really getting me down, when I should be so happy.  And making me fat, bloated and feel like absolute crap.  I just don’t know how to deal with it.  :/  I guess with breastfeeding, it is extra hard, the body is already taking all the nutrients for my milk, and now I am just abusing it on top of everything.  I need to get my head back on straight.